FLUX

With the passing of each wave, how do I calm the sea inside?  The tide ebbs and flows, I catch my breath and sink back under.  Where is the air, the calm, the dream of what was supposed to be, I slip back under.  There is something there, but the light is dim and my eyes sting.  I close my eyes to see.  Blurry images fade, replaced with those past.  I must open my eyes or plunge deeper into an abyss, but the pain if I do, the pain if I do…not.  Even the clouds release their plight on an already blurred soul.  Images can no longer be made certain or clear, the clearest through eyes squeezed tight.  Floating, submerged, flailing, swallowing, the pain, the salty darkness invades every sense and denies anything sweeter.  Nothing can be separated, the storm inside matches the storm prevailing all around.  Give in or die fighting the raging sea, the choice is not as simple as it seems when there is freedom to be found on either side.  The darkness is enduring when the light cannot break through.  A heavy soul lost among crashing waves cannot see the stars, cannot find the light without some semblance of a break from the pain of it.

Love is lost,
can I find it?
Do I dare?
Does it find me,
but where?